


To Ashes

by sartiebodyshots



Category: Falling Skies
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 02:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5439320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sartiebodyshots/pseuds/sartiebodyshots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Tom rescues Cochise from the Espheni, everything has changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Ashes

“Who are you?”

These are three of the most devastating words Tom has ever heard, but he doesn’t realize it at the time.  At the time, he just thinks that Cochise is temporarily confused.

“I’m Tom,” he says, squeezing Cochise’s hand firmly.  “Your husband.  We rescued you from the Espheni.  You’re safe.”

Cochise pulls his hand away.  “I do not know you.”

Tom doesn’t panic, not yet.  “We met a few years ago, when your species came to Earth.  Even though we really weren’t supposed to, we fell in love.  You’re so sweet, so tender… I really didn’t stand a chance.  Since then, you’ve been a parent to my three boys, and we even accidentally had a daughter together.” 

“Volm cannot produce offspring with other species,” Cochise says.  “Your claim is impossible.”

“That’s what you thought when you first laid her egg, but she’s alive and well,” Tom says. 

“Impossible,” Cochise says.

“Come on,” Tom says, panic starting to grow in his chest.  “You have to remember me and our kids.  You have to.”

“I do not remember anything.  I know I am Volm, and that I must fight, but I do not remember anything about who I am,” Cochise says.  “Or about who you are.”

Tom takes a step back, trying to process.  It’s then that their kids run in, all scrambling into position near Cochise before Tom can stop them.

“Glad you’re okay, Cochise!” Hal says, arm around his shoulders. 

“I knew you would be, Volm Dad,” Matt says, having won one of the spots in Cochise’s lap. 

Virginia tugs on Cochise’s shirt to get his attention from the other spot on Cochise’s lap so she can sign to him.  _I missed you, Baba._

“I do not understand,” Cochise says.  “If we produced offspring, why is she here?”

_What does he mean?_ Virginia asks, looking over at Tom questioningly.

“Baba isn’t feeling well right now,” Tom says, scooping her out of Cochise’s lap. 

He gives Hal a look and he pulls Matt into his lap. 

“I feel fine, but I do not know who any of you are.  I had believed this human had been facetious when he said that we had produced offspring.  Half-breeds are impossible, or so I believed.  At the very least, they are undesirable,” Cochise says.

Ben gets to his feet and sticks his finger in Cochise’s face.  “I don’t care what’s happened to you!  Don’t call Virginia that!”

Cochise grabs Ben’s wrist roughly and pushes his hand out of his face, and while Tom can’t see Ben’s face, he hears a pained noise.

“Volm Dad, what are you doing?!” Matt exclaims.  “You’re hurting Ben!”

“Cochise, let him go!” Tom says.

“He challenged me,” Cochise says, letting Ben’s hand go.

Ben turns his head towards Tom.  “I didn’t!”

“He is Espheni!” Cochise says.  “He should be contained.”

“I’m going to take Virginia and go,” Ben says quietly, reaching to grab Virginia.  “Maybe there’s information in the device we brought back from the rescue.”

“We’ll help him,” Hal says, getting up with Matt in tow.

Tom nods.  “Good idea.”

Then, it’s just the two of them again.

“This is not a suitable situation,” Cochise says.  “Volm do not have families, and they certainly do not have families with aliens.”

“You’re different,” Tom says.  “You said you always felt lost until you found us.  We’re your home.  You are so good with our kids, Cochise.  I remember when you used to be nervous, but you’re a natural parent.”

“What was wrong with me that I was more comfortable among aliens than my own people?” Cochise asks.

“Nothing.  You’re wonderful,” Tom says.  He decides to change tracks.  Maybe he’ll remember stuff from before Earth.  “Do you remember your brother?  The Catarius flower?”

“No,” Cochise says.  “It does not matter.”

Tom wipes at his eyes angrily.  “How can it not matter?”

“From what I have seen and what you have described, I was a poor Volm. Perhaps it is good that I lost that identity.  It will be better for my people,” Cochise says.

“I’m going to give you some space,” Tom says, backing out of the room.  “You should probably stay here, just in case they did something else to you.”

He leaves before Cochise can say anything else.  They’ll be able to bring him back.  Tom knows it.  Cochise can’t be gone forever.

* * *

 

Ben figures out that the Espheni wiped out Cochise’s memory as the first part of a two step process to turn him against them.  As far as he can determine, they only did the first part.  So he’s lost his personality, but he’s not a danger.

Well, he’s not a military danger.  But he upsets their kids every single time they talk to him, and while Tom tries not to show it, Cochise upsets him, too.  The softness that Tom cherishes is gone.

A week after they rescue Cochise, Tom hears a strange sound from Virginia’s room.  He knocks on the door, and when he doesn’t hear anything, he opens the door.

Virginia is curled in a ball on her bed, shaking, so Tom comes to sit next her and rests his hand on her shoulder. 

“What happened?” Tom asks softly.

Virginia wipes her face before turning to face him.  _I should not be here.  I should not exist._

“You are precious, Virginia.  Your brothers and I love you, and our family wouldn’t be complete without you,” Tom says. 

_I should not exist._

“Who said this?” Tom asks, heart sinking. 

Unfortunately, it’s the kind of thing that he knows Virginia hears a lot, despite her brothers’ best efforts.  She’s a tough kid already and encountering an idiot never seems to shake her too badly unless the encounter gets physical.  So Tom is pretty sure that he knows who must’ve upset her. _He does not love me anymore._   Virginia signs sadly.

“Something happened to Baba, and he’s not himself anymore,” Tom says.

Virginia frowns.  _But it is Baba._

Sometimes Virginia is so smart that Tom forgets she’s still a toddler and that there are limits to her understanding.  He cards his fingers through her hair comfortingly. 

“I know it feels like it, but it’s not,” Tom says.

_You could stop loving me, too.  Or Ben.  Or Matt.  Or Hal. You could all not love me anymore._   Virginia signs.

“Never,” Tom promises.  “We love you.  You’re important to us all.”

Virginia shrugs and makes a sign that makes it clear that she wants to be alone. 

Tom leans down and presses his lips to her forehead.   “Goodbye.  I love you.”

He stalks down the hall to where Cochise has been staying- not the room they used to share.  Tom has tried to be patient, tried to coax Cochise back to himself.  This is the last straw.

“What the hell did you say to Virginia?” Tom yells, not bothering to knock.

“Nothing untrue.  She should not exist.  Her existence is an insult,” Cochise says. 

“She’s our daughter!  You were so scared because you worried that she wouldn’t survive.  You watched over her egg tirelessly for weeks.  You were so proud when she took her first steps.  You taught us all Volm sign language so we’d be able to talk to her.  How can you not care about her now?” Tom asks.

“I am not the Volm you knew.  I am better now,” Cochise says. 

“You stay away from us- Virginia too,” Tom says.  “I wanted to give you a chance to get to know us again- and if you ever decide you want to get to know us, we can talk- but not if it hurts our kids.  I’m sorry.  If there’s some part of the Cochise I love in there, I know he’ll understand.”

“Okay,” Cochise says.

And that’s it.

* * *

 

There was a time when Tom thought there was nothing worse than Rebecca dying, except for one of the boys dying.  He held her body and lowered her into her grave himself.  It had been months before he stopped turning to talk to her before remembering she was gone.  He spent hours trying to preserve her face, her voice, the feeling of her hand holding his in his memory because he had been worried about losing his links to her.  Losing her had been a devastation that Tom hadn’t known if he could recover from at the time. 

But there had been finality to it.  Peace.  They all mourned together.  They had grieved.

Now… they see Cochise around camp.  He sounds like himself.  He has the same gestures.  For all intents and purposes, Cochise is still alive.  There are even moments when Tom thinks his husband might be back, especially when they have to spend hours together planning their next move.  It’s so much like the early days of their relationship that Tom sometimes needs to step outside to breathe. 

But Cochise is not the same person anymore; he doesn’t have Tom’s husband’s compassion or curiosity.  The little quirks that made Cochise a bad Volm but a good person.  It’s not like they’re going to be able to start from square one and rebuild their life together, like Tom had initially hoped once they realized the amnesia had been permanent.

Selfish as it is, it feels worse than if Cochise had just died.  You can’t mourn the living.

**Author's Note:**

> ittybittymattycommittee asked Tom + Cochise + someone's greatest fear.
> 
> I have already killed everyone off at least once, so I thought I'd try something different with this prompt.


End file.
